Memorial Day funny

Last Thursday we had a door to door sales guy ring our doorbell. I am notoriously bad at stopping these people in mid sales pitch, but I have never bought anything....yet. Anyway, this guy was good, he had charisma and it seemed like he actually enjoyed what he did. So he was selling some sort of spray on cleaner that did everything. First he sprayed the hood of my car (which made me cringe, but it was too late he already sprayed it) he rubbed and polished and said "now take a look at that" and imagine that.....it was clean. But then he said you could run your fingers over it and there would be no streaks. He did this and of course he left big streaks in it! Then he sprayed the glass, "see no streaks" he said. And "it will last for 14 days" he said. "Even if it rains?" I asked. He said the water will roll right off. So then he heads over to the porch light, which is in bad cosmetic shape with tarnish spots and gunk all over it. He says "and watch this" and squirts the fixture and scrubs it with a scouring pad, all the time giving me this spiel about how this magic spray takes all of the rust and gunk right off. So he polishes it up and low and behold...it looks no better or worse than it did before.

By this time I was sort of laughing on the inside, cause this stuff was obviously a crock. He handed me a bottle and on the side it said retail price $34.95. I asked him how much it costs, and he said $40. Again I laughed on the inside. Then he sits down on the step and begins to squirt one of his shoes. He scrubs it and dries it off and said "look at that, good as new!" And of course it looked the same as the shoe that he didn't spray. "But remember" he says "this is only 1 capful in a squirt bottle filled with water." "Enough to make 120 bottles" he added.

Then came the mail box test. He opens up the lid of the mailbox and notices some rust. "Watch this" he says, "I'll remove this rust with out effecting the integrity of the paint." He sprays, he scrubs, and then he proceeds to remove all of the rust AND all of the paint...down to the bare metal. So then joking with him a bit I said "yeah but if I bought a bottle of this stuff I would actually have to walk around and spray and scrub everything, if I bought a bottle would you go around and spray and scrub everything?" He paused for a minute, then he pulls out a notebook and looks inside....then he looks at me and says.......this is the best part......"yeah I could do that for $310!" I busted out laughing and told him I wasn't interested and he got all upset and left. As if his little notebook had a price in it for spraying and scrubbing everything in my house and detailing my car, and apparently reviving my shoes to their exact same luster of pre-revival. Apparently this stuff is the best cleaner ever, but it didn't actually look like it did a thing. If you just have to have some, here is the website. Here it is on eBay for about $28 with shipping. Oh, did I mention that he unscrewed the cap of his squirt bottle and DRANK IT!!!! "Totally safe and totally organic" he said!